From July 7, 2007
It hurts when people you care about do
things in secrecy because they don't want you to know about their activities.
It is the old "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" adage, and the
belief that they are not being deceitful, they are just choosing not to
disclose certain things.
Adage or not, it still hurts,
especially because you are putting your trust in someone and you know they are
not being honest with you. What do you do? Do you confront that person? Do you
just ignore it or sweep it under the rug? Should it even bother you in the
first place?
I am someone who expects honesty and
integrity in a relationship, regardless of how casual or formal the
relationship may be. I expect this because I give it myself-- I cannot
understand how you can have any level of intimacy with someone who you know
isn't being honest with you, and I can't understand how you can be on the other
end of it and feel good about yourself.
For now, I choose not to confront-- it
just raises walls of defensiveness. The person caught is not sorry for the act,
just sorry he or she got caught: they are more careful next time. For now, I
choose a different approach-- after all, I will be judged for my own actions. I
do not have to live with a hidden image of myself and I will not be judged for
the actions of others. I choose to forgive.
But how do you forgive someone for
something they don't even think you know about? Isn't that the same as sweeping
it under the rug? Ignoring it? Remember WWJD? Well, it's not a fad, WWJD-- it
is a question: What Would Jesus Do? He would forgive, and forgive again, and
forgive again. It will come around in the life after this, and that is when the
price must be paid for our actions. So I will continue to forgive. I am only
one person, and I choose to do what is right.
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