Making Headway (October 2010)

From October 11, 2010

My journey in being a single mom is beginning.  Believe it or not, things are starting to move into place around the house... It is a gradual process as we continually rearrange things as we unpack.  But I think the house is going to be the easy part out of all of this.

There are still many things on my "To Do" list this week, and of course, the most important task: finding work and registering for January classes at SVC (next month).  There are a few job prospects out there, the question will be which one pays the most.  Though I have always been most comfortable in hospital settings, it may not be possible because the hospital jobs with which I have experience don't pay very well.  On the other hand, working in a medical capacity was mandatory in the Shoreline nursing program.... so we will see what direction this takes.

Moving day: What you can see in this photos is that I was having one of the worst days of my life.  An extremely long and difficult day, most of it being spent brow-beaten and constantly yelled at, no sleep, and not in good health.  I had been saying goodbye to a friend I had known during my entire stay in the Bozeman area and we had some tears to share.  She was brave in taking over packing for me for a little while when I was so worn out I couldn't do anymore.  You can see fatigue and utter despair.

What you can't see in this photo is the cat sitting on my back as I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees.  I really needed some air -- and no matter where I went outside, I still couldn't seem to get enough air.  I remembered all the hours I spent in the garden over the years, hunched over rows of growing vegetables with the cat sitting on my back.  It was a melancholy thought.

But at least the cat came with us to Washington.

Tonight begins the first night:  no clonazepam...the drug with which I've had a love/hate relationship with, that I now need to reduce to preserve my health.... I think.