3 Days Till the Move & Strength (October 2010)

From October 4, 2010

 My daughter is stronger than I am and I admire her strength.  She has a plan already figured out for when we arrive on Whidbey Island and she has the willpower to carry through. 

I stole this poster off of her latest internet post:

I've got the courage to make this move, and I have the motivation to make this move.  I just wish I had the strength, physically and mentally to make this move.  Every day I wake up in tears because I don't know if I can get everything done-- feeling spread far too thin to do much good.

Maybe today will go better.

LATER:

3 days to go and battling some major depression the whole way.  

If all goes well, we will arrive late Saturday afternoon.  The girls will have to immediately take care of all their pets: dogs, cat, bird, tortoise, and Shelby's pets: guinea pig and fish.  At some point people will be there to help us unload.  Having never been in the house, I have no idea of the layout or the floorplan and my dad has been too busy taking care of my mother to get that done for me.  Things will be chaotic (just what I need, more chaos) because I will not know where to direct the boxes and furniture.

If it weren't for the fact that we won't have any food, I would probably do very little on Sunday.  But kids get hungry and they eat a lot.  So I have to at least tend to that.  I have been told that as soon as I get there I need to start worrying about the next month's rent -- as if I don't have anything else to worry about.  

For now my shortest-term goal includes more packing, taking breaks and reminding myself to breathe.  I am only one person and can't do it all.

I have a date with the Law & Justice Center today.

A picture that always makes me smile.
Anne and her little snow chicken, winter 2007

STILL LATER:

Still staying with the theme for the day:

After starting the day an emotional wreck, tonight is the first time in a month that I see progress.  There is still very much to do, but besides boxes stacked everywhere, the house is starting to empty and it looks like we're moving somewhere.

My family back home was able to round up the money for a trailer and the U-Haul driver agreed to haul it for a little more money and more gas money.  Also, I told Ed that if he doesn't help pack we are going to have to leave it and he will have to pack it anyway.  I have to take too many breaks to do it entirely on my own.  So he is helping to pack and things are finally moving along.  

I spent the morning at the Law & Justice Center and found out that we were not given the proper Child Support paperwork, so I still have to do that, have it notarized, and send it in within the next couple days.  The dissolution papers cannot even be filed until CSED (Child Support Enforcement Division) returns the result to me in Oak Harbor.  Then I send that to Ed, and he files the paperwork and sets the court date.  But we did sign everything and had everything notarized.  So there was at least a little progress there and less to be done later.

My girls have also been very busy today also: doing their own packing; attempting to trim Mabel, the Shih Tzu (so we don't have to spend $50 to have Pet Smart do it); and helping me with whatever I need.  They are a little slow because they spend so much time talking and laughing, but it is better than the alternative, so I do not complain.

Four Heads are better than one!!  This photos is of the four youngest girls in 2006.  They are older and more grown up now, but this is how I still usually see them everyday: happy, friendly, and always together.  Someday I'd like to get a picture of all my kids together, and maybe even one with me as well.