Autism (1) (April 2008)

From April 2, 2008:

After giving birth to and raising six kids, I have learned a lot about children. I have learned that each one of them is unique in every thing that they do. Some kids are faster learners, some kids are physically more agile, some kids are musically inclined. I am the first one to admit that kids need to be taught according to their unique personalities.

Having said that, I also have to admit that something has been bugging me for years. My first child was born with serious heart malformations. She was in and out of hospitals for the first five years of her life. For her first two years, she never spoke. We wondered if this might be a developmental delay due to her medical anomalies. Then suddenly, it all clicked and by her second birthday, out popped the alphabet song. By her third birthday, she was reading books. By Kindergarten, she was reading "Charlotte's Web" (E.B. White) on her own.

During that first year of school, various teachers enjoyed pulling her out of class to "test" her abilities and see how far she could go. They determined she was at a 7th-grade reading ability with a 5th-grade comprehension level. She was placed in a full-time program for gifted children after an IQ test placed her at 144. By 2nd-grade, she was offered a chance to skip a grade, but she refused. She was an odd child by many standards. She seldom had any friends and hung around by herself.

She insisted on wearing a ski cap every day, regardless of the outside temperature. Teachers worried she might end up with heat stroke, but luckily it never came to that. "At least we can always spot her on the playground," they said. She often said whatever came to her mind, and often times it was not what one would expect the social norm. It isn't that she meant to hurt anyone, she just stated what to her was fact. She spoke to adults as if she was one herself. She had no problem telling adults what they should do, and she was totally serious about it.

She didn't have the same emotions that other kids did, and didn't like to be held or cuddled, or even touched. She tended to be loud when she spoke, and was always slamming doors and cupboards without realizing it. As a mom, I always suspected there was something “wrong,” but also as a mom, I always felt that it didn’t matter— she is special and unique and I love her regardless of any perceived “defect.”

Over the years, she has learned to adapt herself to most social situations, but has still carried many of these initial characteristics with her. She graduated from the local university last spring after five years and a few different majors (she is still undecided as to what to do). She is still "different" but most people can't quite put their finger on it.

In doing research regarding one of my other kids, I ran into Autism and the different spectrum disorders. Could my daughter have Asperger's Syndrome all these years? Now that she is an adult, I'm not sure we'll ever know, or if it is even important to know anymore.

I have another story to tell next time. :)