Autism (5) (April 2008)

From April 2, 2008:

(Continued from a previous post)

Over the years I have come to know what helps my daughter and what doesn’t. Because of this “one-step-forward-two-steps-back” way of learning, she is two and three years behind her public-schooled peers, but at least she is making progress. I have always felt she is about two emotional years behind her peers, but this will even out in time.

We started her early with dance and with music, and I believe this has greatly improved her motor skills. She still has sensory issues but seems to have learned to adapt herself to certain things that bring pain (getting used to wearing pointe shoes in ballet, for example), though not to the same extent as others. Believe it or not, playing Nintendo and other video games has done wonderful things for her hand-eye coordination as well.

She is a growing teenager, and has her good days and bad days. She has her obsessions with things, particularly where she places them— whether on her bed, or on her dresser. She has her routines and runs into near panic when those routines are upset. If she is autistic, surely she must be high-functioning because most people would not know it if they saw her or spoke to her.

Though she can read and write, she hates to do these things on her own, yet functions beautifully with on-line games where she writes in Internet lingo (BRB, LOL, etc). In fact, she wrote a short *handwritten* note to her grandparents the other day and placed a “ :) ” at the end of a sentence, sideways and all. Online games are another obsession in her world. She is a very driven child. It may take her a long time to learn something, but once she has it down, she will not be happy until it is perfected. Once she has perfected it, she will go faster and faster, continuing to drive herself. I guess it’s a good thing her musical instrument of choice is percussion! :)

Now all we need is “that piece of paper” as she calls it— that diagnosis that explains why she is so different from others. I would ordinarily say “who needs it?” at this point, because we are learning to manage it. But she will start high school band this next school year, and the law requires mandatory testing of all public schooled students, even if she only attends for one class. She will need “that piece of paper” to be excused from this testing.

My husband, on the other hand, still doesn’t want to hear it. He can’t seem to get past the “Rainman” version of autism and is always asking “what if it isn’t?” Then, I say, we will move on. But what if it is, and we did nothing?

Interestingly, both of my children born with birth defects seem to possess similar (and yet vastly different) aspects of autism or something like it. Where did it come from?

Till next time...